Yours, Mine and Hours: Relationship Skil

250 pages

In a modern world where divorce abd remarriage has become common, more and more people are living in step and blended families involving children from both partners. While this can lead to many blessings, it also can lead to many problems as adults find themselves serving as instant stepparents without knowing where to start. Children can be confused and resentful, putting strain on the couple's new partnership and presenting challenges for which the family is unprepared.

This book can  be a valuable tool for any adult who finds him or herself in this challenging situation, because it spells out the three critical components that help a blended family work well:  marriage,  acceptance, and communication.  Together, these form the pillars of the Recipe for Bleded Family Success, a unique strategy developed and honed by the authors through their training, experience, and extensive knowledge of parenting, family mediation, and child development.  Using this Recipe, they have been successful blending their own fmaily of five children (one 'yours', three 'mine', and one 'ours') into one loving and cohesive whole.

This book is written by a couple who have actually lived what they talk about, and is packed with practical and immediately useful advice. Parents of step and blended families will learn how to attend to a strong marital bond as their avenue to being the best parents, how to lead their children by example, how to disciipline them effectively and constructively, how to minimize conflict and emotional turmoil, how to communicate effectively, and so much more.   In turn, children will learn solid relationship skills that will serve them well inside the family and in their own future relationships.

Table of Contents
Part 1 - The Recipe for Blended Family Success
Chapter One - What is the Recipe for Blended Family Success?
     The Recipe for Blended Family Success
      Ingredient #1: Marriage
      Ingredient #2: Acceptance
      Ingredient #3: Communication

Part 2 - Ingredient #1: Marriage
Chapter Two - Put Your Marriage First
      Why put your marriage first?
      What do you want from your marriage?
      What does marriage mean to you?
      What it looks like when your marriage doesn't come first
      What it looks like when your marriage comes first
Chapter Three - The Four Pillars of Marital Success
      1. Your children's job is to grow up and leave you
      2. Your own good marriage is a gift to your children
      3. Boosting your self-esteem
      4. Your own safe haven
Chapter Four - Time, Space, and Black Holes
      Establishing and maintaining connection
      Protected Time
      Protected Space
Chapter Five - Creating Your Family Vision
      Going outside the lines
      Family rules and behavior
      Parenting and discipline
      Family traditions

Part 3 - Ingredient #2: Acceptance
Chapter Six - Paving the Road with Good Intentions
      Common challenges for blended family parents
      That guilt thing
      Dealing with the super parent syndrome
      Stop shoulding on yourself
Chapter Seven - Resistance is Futile
      Start with reality
      Free yourself from fear, reaction, and worry
Chapter Eight - The Ten Laws of Acceptance
      1. Understand that you can change only yourself
      2. Notice where you're existing
      3. Beware of frozen judgments
      4. Embrace your dark side
      5. Commit to transparency
      6. Force self-reflection
      7. Practice enlightened selfishness
      8. Admit when you're wrong
      9. Pick the right hills to die on
      10. Make the first move
 
Part 4 - Ingredient #3: Communication
Chapter Nine - Managing Alien Communication
      Contents vs. cooperation
      Separateness vs. closeness
      Solutions vs. empathy
      Facts vs. feelings
      Requirements vs. requests
      Confrontation vs. negotiation
Chapter Ten - Tune Into Your Family's Radio Station
      The WIFM approach
      Don't try to convince them
      Using WIFM for disciplineand rewards
Chapter Eleven - Stop Talking
      Establishing your "Do Line"
      Becoming an Actioin Hero
      Creating a Family Pact
      The Wiggle Room
      Building self-responsibility

 Chapter Twelve - Send in the Coach
      Socrates was right
      They're not trying to tick you off on purpose
      The DISC model

Part 5 - The Way Forward
Chapter Thirteen - Thoughts for Your Journey
      Ingredient #1: Marriage
      Ingredient #2: Acceptance
      Ingredient #3: Communication
Resources
Chapter References

About the authors 
The winner of numerous writing and speaking awards,
 Shona Welsh  is the author of  Mentoring the Future: A Guide to Building Mentor Programs that Work and coauthor ofthe bestselling  Expert Women Who Speak: Speak Out, Volume 6.  Shona holds a master's degree in adult education and has been speaking internationally on work and life issues for the past twenty years.  She cannot be left alone in the house with chocolate.

John Penton has had various incarnations as a carpenter, farmer, teacher, and gravedigger. Most recently, he has been speaking on numerous parenting issues to a variety of audiences. A certified family mediator with a background in child development, John holds a master's degree in education and is the author of  Big Boys
Don't Cry: The suppression of Male Nurture in Teaching and Learning.  He keeps a stash of chocolate under the bed he thinks Shona doesn't know about.

Shona Welsh and John Penton have lived together in a blended family of five children, one puppy,  and the occasional mouse for the past nine years. Together, Shona and John operate a personal development and business training organization called Momentum Learning Inc. 

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